College used to be a liberating dream but now it’s a punching bag. The spirit behind college today seems lost, the costs all too real and the benefit increasingly marginal. Many graduates emerge from college directionless, rootless and with none of the “experience” employers demand. And yet despite these all too common problems with college, most people can’t imagine a successful path forward for their kids that doesn’t involve a college degree or two or three.
I’d like to imagine a path forward for my kids (and yours too) that doesn’t require a college degree or at least makes college better. My motivation is two-fold:
Success: When we take a closer look at what exactly “success” is for a college grad, most people will wince. The successful outcome of the average, above average AND below average college student is to be employed at a desk job answering email. This isn’t the worst outcome ever, but few if any people aspire to this type of work.1 Long were my labors to escape the golden-handcuffs and tranquilizing impact of the desk job. And only a few years ago did I finally do so. Should I then stand by and do nothing while my kids default into the same path?
Money: It seems that my kids (and your kids) will have to be rich just to be middle class. If they want to afford a starter home, have a family, live on one income, and save for retirement, they will have difficulty doing so on a college grad’s average income growth over time. The college path is usually the employee path and employment is like a soft salary cap. An HR Director makes what an HR Director makes. A Marketing Assistant is worth what a Marketing Assistant is worth. And if inflation is 10% or housing prices rise by 15%, there is no comparable raise coming down from on corporate high.
As my children grow and greater attention is given to their future and education, this thought lays over me like a cloud: can I not spare them from this fate? Is there another path? One that allows them to have learning, success and wealth on their own terms?
The Wyrd Educational & Vocational Plan
Weird used to be spelled Wyrd. And when it was spelled that way it meant fate. In the spirit of Wyrd, this is my rough sketch of what a “take control of my fate” educational & vocational plan looks like. This isn’t proven, I can’t recommend it. My oldest son is barely old enough to begin to test this. I’d love for you to tell me how to improve it or if you’ve ever known anyone to do anything similar. Here are my thoughts:
Step #1: Grade School Customization
The first step begins long before the child ever reaches college age: customize their grade school experience. If we pretend for a moment that none of the social/political controversies that surround public schools existed, still they would be guilty of one great sin: they’re boring.
It’s the biggest reason we homeschool… to avoid the standardization of education. Learning should be a little weird, spontaneous, sometimes shallow, sometimes deep, tailored to the child and their situation. This allows them to follow curiosity, interests and develop deeper talents. After all, this is what every other learning looks like outside of a school setting. Why should school be any different?
Step #2: Learning the Family Business
The family business is not only whatever work you do but also all the work that must be done to manage your household. For me, that means my kids will be part of my work to find, contact and help clients. Lots of soft skills required. Also, learning and working on the administrative side: the paperwork and record keeping. Lastly be involved in the creative side: the writing, the video making and the ideating process.
It takes a lot to run my household of 7. Meal planning, expense planning, house work, managing chores, etc. While younger children are simply directed in these things, an older child can at least look at the notes of the Director and maybe direct the show themselves from time to time.
Kids vary in readiness and maturity, but it seems like the age of 12 is a good time to start this step in earnest. Allow them a view into the adult world, your adult world, and understand what work is. Life is busy though, and I’ve found that without a written and intentional plan it’s too easy to skip this step altogether. Then before you know it, your kid is 18, in college, and completely ignorant of your adult world.
Step #3: Learning Other People’s Business
This step requires you to have friends. Perhaps around the age of 14, a child is ready to take on a series of mini-apprenticeships to learn about the work of others. What these mini-apprenticeships look like will be determined in part by what we think the child needs in order to develop and in part by the child’s interests.
I do little work with technology, so an apprenticeship with a developer might be interesting. I do no work in engineering so an apprenticeship with a civil or aerospace engineer would open up a whole new world. If my son has takes to organization and planning, time spent working with an Event Planner or Project Manager could be worth while.2
Having a large and industry-diverse network of friends and acquaintances is necessary to make this work. For my part, a month long, few hours a week, apprenticeship is something I’d be willing to do for a friend and his son. But maybe to provide certain experiences, you have to pay some people for their time.
As my son ages and his interests come into focus, the apprenticeships will become longer; the work he does more meaningful. Let’s say my son takes an interest in Accounting. Another thing I have absolutely no interest in. I would help him network with Accounting professionals, get lower/medium skilled jobs in this field and let him take a crack at my taxes and business record keeping.
Or to pick something at the extreme opposite of Accounting, let’s say he really enjoys creating art; writing, painting, animation, sculpture, whatever. I would help point him in the direction of all the poor people who have made a career out of this and/or those that have made a sustainable career somewhere in the world of art.
Depending on his interest, he could reach the age of 18 with 1) a diverse set of apprenticeship experiences, 2) a defined and informed direction, 3) mentors and connections to the fields he loves the most and 4) perhaps if he is lucky, a money making asset in the form of skills and a business centered around his interests and talents.
Step #4: The Self-Funded College Experience
Disclaimer: With this step, I’m now talking about something that is so far in the future and so dependent on many unmade choices that it’s almost a total abstraction. But those of you who know me know where this is going.
As I stated above, I worry that the employees of my son’s generation will be priced out of a middle class lifestyle or get trapped in a career they never wanted.
An anecdote to this is owning your own business or your own job. Being self-employed allows you access to income levers unavailable to employees. If my child reaches college age with an interest and skill set so firm that he can open a profitable business around that interest. Well, my heart will rest a little.
But this may not be the case! And regardless, he still needs an LDS wife. And BYU and BYU-I are still the best available places to find a wife for a young LDS man. Not to mention the college experience is a blast. Put tens of thousands of religious young adults who don’t drink and don’t hook-up with each other in one small area and they get very creative with their time.
But I digress. Let’s say my son goes to Provo, whether he takes classes at BYU or seriously pursues a degree at all is not of great importance and would depend entirely on his interests. But regardless of his path, I would expect him to take one more class from me: the own a business class.
I’d gift to him say… $10,000 (cheaper than tuition) to start his own business. I’d work with him to build out a plan. I’d connect him with people around Provo I know in this field. Preferably, the business would build on his apprenticeships. It would allow him to learn sales, business formation, how to manage employees, get clients and how to gut it out while his expenses and needs are low.
I meet so many middle-age men who would love to quit their jobs and do their own thing. But at their age, their life is like an aircraft carrier of obligations. Yes, you can turn that aircraft carrier around, but it’s slow and it requires support. However, a young man with little to tie him down can afford to lose much more and still land on his feet.
Step #5: After “Graduation”
A risk of manhood in our day is to arrive in your early 20s, no longer a student of anything and have no direction at all, no power at all and be at the mercy of the best job you can scrounge up.
No plan is fool-proof, much will depend my son’s desire, worth ethic and follow though. But I can imagine the man who follows these steps. I imagine him as a capable business owner. I imagine him as having well-rounded knowledge and the network to be flexible in how he earns money. I imagine him with enough confidence to form and provide for a family.
And I believe he would be more prepared and have more power and have more direction in his life than I did at that age. And as a father, that’s the dream.
The most useful class for most college students would be: Outlook Power User 101.
I picked all of these things because I hate them and would be bored to tears but my kids might be built different.